31 Healthy Ways To Manage Anger
1. RECOGNIZE YOUR ANGER. (DON'T REPRESS) ADMIT "I'VE BEEN HURT, DISAPPOINTED, ETC."
2. IDENTIFY THE CAUSE OF YOUR ANGER. "WHAT IS IT THAT HURT ME?" EXAMINE YOUR THOUGHTS, BELIEFS & FEELINGS. "BEFORE I WAS ANGRY I FELT____ AND I WAS THINKING____."
DEFLECT ANGER
3. THOUGHT STOPPING
4. DISTRACTION
5. PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION
6. AVOID OVERSTIMULATION (caffeine, stress, rushed for time…)
7. TAKE A TIME OUT, GO FOR WALK, COOL OFF, COUNT TO 10, 20, 100...
RETREAT, RETHINNK, RESPOND. WE MUST TAKE CONTROL OF ANGER BEFORE IT TAKES CONTROL OF US
DEVELOP SKILLS
8. CHOOSE BATTLES WISELY. PRETEND TODAY IS YOUR LAST.
9. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ANGER. THIS FREES US FROM BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS’ ACTION & ALLOWING OTHERS TO HAVE CONTROL OF OUR EMOTIONS. (IT'S EASY TO BLAME OTHERS AND STAY STUCK)
10. CONFESS UNFORGIVNESS.
11. WRITE IT OUT, TALK IT OUT & PRAY IT OUT. LARGER ISSUES MAY REQUIRE COUNSELING.
RESIST RUMINATING AND REVENGE.
13. HEALTHY SELF-TALK
· “This is difficult, but I’m coping ok.”
· “I wish things were different, but I can make the best of it.”
· “I can remain calm even when the situation is stressful.”
· “Although I’m angry, I don’t need to lose control.”
· “I can control my feelings, I don’t have to allow others to make me miserable.”
14. THE FISHBOWL TECHNIQUE: REFUSE TO DANCE. CHANGE THE PART YOU PLAY IN
THE PATTERN.
15. PLAN RESPONSES (ESCAPE OR COPING METHOD) FOR FUTURE INTERACTIONS.
16. TIMING IS EVERYTHING. PRAY FOR THE RIGHT TIMING.
17. RETURN EVIL WITH GOOD ROMANS 12.19-21 My beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
20. "therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him, if he thirsts, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." 21. DO NOT BE OVERCOME BY EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.
18. GIVE A SOFT ANSWER. PROVERBS 15.1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
ADOPT POSITIVE ATTITUDES
19. LEAVE VENGENCE TO GOD.
20. DEVELOP RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
21. LOVE. ROMANS 13.10 LOVE DOES NO HARM TO A NEIGHBOR; THEREFORE LOVE IS THE FULFILLMENT OF THE LAW.
22. LAUGH AT YOURSELF.
IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS
23. INCREASE YOUR EMPATHY.
24. LISTEN.
25. PRACTICE TRUSTING OTHERS. UNLESS THEY’VE PROVEN TO BE UNTRUSWORTHY.
26. CARE FOR A PET.
27. PRACTICE SELF-CONTROL. PROVERBS 16.32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
GALATIANS 5.22-23 BUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT IS LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONGSUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF CONTROL. AGAINST SUCH THERE IS NO LAW.
28. BE NOT EASILY PROVOKED. PROVERBS 19.11 The discretion of a man makes him SLOW TO ANGER, and it is to his glory to overlook a transgression.
29. EXPRESS ANGER APPROPRIATELY AS LEAD BY THE HOLY SPIRIT, TOWARD THE
CAUSE OF THE PAIN WE FEEL. FIRST ASK YOURSELF "WILL THIS CAUSE GREATER DIVISION OR BRING HEALING?"
FIVE CONDITIONS FOR YOUR SAFETY WHEN EXPRESSING YOUR ANGER:
1. Anger must be directed at the target of you anger.
2. Expression of anger restores your sense of control over the situation and your sense of justice.
3. Your expression changes the behavior of the person you are angry at or gives you some new insight.
4. You and your target must speak the same anger language – your message must be understood.
5. The “zinger clause;” there must be no angry retaliation from your target.
30. PRACTICE ASSERTIVENESS.
31. FORGIVE.
Learn more at the Cool & Calm Meeting
The COOL & CALM Meeting will help you to take back control of your emotions, gain power from them, and prevent other people or situations from pushing your buttons, all at half the cost (compared to individual or marital counseling).
What is anger costing you? Learn powerful, time tested and easy to learn techniques to control your anger and channel it to constructive and productive use. Learn to minimize the damaging effects that anger can have on your relationships, job and your health.
Ø This special meeting provides a safe, confidential environment to learn quick and effective tips & methods for handling anger.
Ø It is a safe place to simply listen & learn, or ask questions- you don’t’ have to talk if you don’t want to.
You Will Learn:
Ø To stop letting other people or situations control your mood
Ø To take back control of your reactions to maddening situations
Ø Quick & Effective Tips & Tools to Manage Anger
Ø How to Channel Anger to empower you towards success in relationships & a rewarding life
Ø About the Brain and Anger
Ø The Top Ten Thinking Mistakes that fuel anger
Ø Reprogramming the Five False Beliefs that fuel anger, with the Truth
Ø Alternatives to anger: Assertiveness Techniques
Ø Passive, Aggressive & Assertive: Finding a balance
Ø The Anger Decision Roadmap
: DON’T WAIT! RESERVE YOUR SEAT NOW! CALL (318) 222-6800 OR EMAIL martinLPC@bellsouth.net today! Payments may be made by cash, check or credit card.
Get one month of counseling in one day and SAVE 50%!
There are no “QUICK FIXES,” but this is the next best thing!
“The meeting will be a safe, confidential place to simply listen & learn, or ask questions– you don’t have to talk!”
TO REGISTER
The Cool & Calm Meeting is on Thursdays & Saturdays from 9 am – noon at my office. This is a 3 hour teaching meeting. The cost is $195 with $30 discount if you register & pay early.
For meeting dates please call the office @ (318) 222-6800 or email martinLPC@bellsouth.net.
P.S. NEW! FREE! Check out Healing Heart Counseling Center
THIS IS A MULTIMEDIA EVENT!
¨ 20 VIDEO CLIPS illustrating important points about anger
¨ 44 SLIDES
¨ PRESENTATION
¨ 24 page hand out
